"Am I the only sane person here tonight?"

Alan Colmes comes to the WEVD studios direct from his live broadcast with Sean Hannity on the Fox News Channel. He's got a bagel with scallion cream cheese and a bottle of fruit juice. Before he greets me he turns to his producer, John Costantino, to tell him that the guy who works at the deli across the street was fired because he asked for the day off. Though the news should make any rational man sad, I smile widely. Any doubts I had that Alan Colmes' consideration for the working class was just a put-on has disappeared. He doesn't just act that way when the mikes are on.

Alan Colmes, heard Monday through Friday throughout the New York area on 1050 AM from 11 pm until 2 am, is a rare commodity: a talk show personality with an unflinching leftist point-of-view. A strict defender of free speech, gay rights, and secularism, he tackles the gray issues that can lose you points with moderates. However, he isn't a party-animal; he voted for Giuliani. Even more importantly, though, he isn't your traditional talk radio yammerer. He takes pride that his is an entertainment show about topical issues. In addition to the policy wonks and representatives of the scandalous are comics, actors, authors, musicians, and nude models giving their often erudite opinions on events of the day, always coaxed by Alan's amused hand.

And it isn't just guests. A highlight of Alan's show is how he (and his producer/screener) deal with the, how shall we say, diverse late-night New York callers. We're talkin' Michael Jackson Thriller video on some nights, folks. Topics can zip from civic news of the day to serious philosophy to diverting minutiae of a Seinfeldian order (a call was once placed to the makers of "Animal Crackers" to ask why these items, clearly cookies, are called crackers.)

The most important thing you should know about Alan Colmes is that he is consistently lowering my blood pressure. With all the Limbaughs and Bob Grants (and the vacant Instant Oatmeal commentary you get with 80-second news-spots on any non-Jim Lehrer program) it is a much needed breath of fresh and rarely hot air to hear something intelligent from an educated liberal perspective. Colmes is the only person in "topical media" who will ever say just the thing that I'm thinking to the ardent right-wing or lax moderates. I'm often found fully facing my radio shouting, "Thank you!", as if he just helped me out in an argument.

John, presenting himself as the forward wall of defense against New York's late night callers.

The night I observe Alan is a little troubling. The Mets game lead-in runs late. Alan's opening remark is, Could they have dragged that out a little longer? Not the usual way to ingratiate yourself to your co-workers. His team, though, is clearly on his side. John and board-operator Bill giggle their way through the show, especially when Alan is talking rings around the guest (Paula Jones' and John Wayne Bobbitt's former business manager) even though the guest's "assistant" is sitting in the same room. Best is when Alan has to do a live commercial spot. Colmes rolls his eyes at the corny copy, and the boys in the booth howl with laughter. I'm reminded of late nights in college, working hard to finish up a project as the night turns to dawn. Given the level of intelligence here, though, I'd say it was a very good college.

I was lucky enough to get some "question and answer" time with Colmes, an edited transcipt of which reads:

Jordan Hoffman: Is the "talk" format appropriate for every subject?

Alan Colmes: I can't imagine a subject about which talk would not be appropriate, although presenting mimes on radio, or magicians who do cute hand tricks doesn't have the same impact as a debate on partial birth abortion. But the talk format need not be confined to controversy, politics, or even topicality. Talk is the biggest growing format in America according to the industry "bible", Talkers Magazine, and it can and should take many forms. I build my show around the issues of the day because that's what interests me. A good host finds his or her passion and that becomes the subject matter that drives the presentation.

JH: Did you ever book a guest you were worried wouldn't work well, but ended up wowed by their appearance?

AC: Yes, the mime I mentioned earlier. Actually, one of the most fascinating interviews I ever did was with Marcel Marceau, who talked about, among other things, working with the French Resistance to help save Jews during World War Two. I love probing areas that the audience doesn't think will evolve with a particular guest. Jessica Hahn, at the height of her infamy, played the piano. Steve Allen recently went on a rant about how amoral the television industry has become. William Shatner was obsessed with the O.J. trial and that's all we discussed. He's already been asked every question about Star Trek.

JH: If you had to pick up and leave NYC, where would you most want to produce your show?

AC: I've already done nationally syndicated radio, and so I've been on in places I didn't know existed. The chance to be back on in New York is what gave me the impetus to accept WEVD's offer, and so I don't have a proper answer to the first half of the question. Everyone plugging a book, a movie, or any other project knows they have to reach the number one market. Granted, my show is not a receptacle for pluggola, but some of the guests we want are available to us because they have a cause or a project to discuss. And almost every issue that is relevant occurs, sooner or later, in New York. Furthermore, the New York audience participates in the talk radio medium with an awareness and passion you don't get in other venues. There are more people and, thus, more opinions. And New York is a place people come to to find their careers, their hopes, their dreams, their passions. There is no better place in which to conduct a talk radio show.

JH: WEVD has a long history in left-wing Jewish culture. Its call letters, I'm told, actually stand for Eugene V. Debs. For years they broadcast in Yiddish, and the morning show is hosted by Grandfather-ly legend Bill Mazer. How much does the station's history tie in with your own show? Do you see yourself as part of its legacy?

AC: Having been there just a year, it would be presumptuous to state that I am part of its legacy. I do feel that my views politically are in keeping with the grand tradition of the radio station, but part of that tradition is acceptance and airing of many views, not just those of WEVD's namesake. And so that WEVD would evolve into a talk radio station is quite in keeping with its legend. It's an natural evolution.

JH: There's always a touch of Dada in your show. The most obvious of this is 'Radio Graffiti.' Can you explain how you created this, what exactly it is, and some of the reactions its gotten?

Bill in the booth

AC: It began when I was on WNBC radio and doing a five hour afternoon show. I was seeking a way to pace myself, and so I told the audience in the first hour they could call up and do anything they wanted, unscreened, as long as they didn't say the "Seven Dirty Words". Two weeks into this idea, some caller said, "You should call this radio graffiti." It became a signature piece, and we even do "Video Graffiti" on my Fox News show, although I think it's more effective on radio. It's garnered either wonderful reaction or terrible reaction from radio programmers, but it's also been stolen, borrowed, and claimed by many others. In fact, even before me, Alex Bennett, who was on WPLJ and then WMCA did something called "Quickies", and so I wasn't the first to develop such a concept. We've refined it to "one sentence, once sentence only" and moved it to the end of the show, where it gives everyone a chance to get on one final time.

JH: Recently you tried to simulate a Web chat room on the radio, as if to ask, "what's the big deal?" It amounted to, forgive me, ten minutes of unbearably uncomfortable radio, akin to an Andy Kaufman routine. However, in the long run, it remains the best comment I've encountered on the obsession with chat rooms. Do you worry that you may lose some of the audience when you ask them to "listen between the lines" like this? And are there other examples of this kind of experimentation from years past?

AC: I'm flattered with your level of observance. I may do the chat room again, as I like making people uncomfortable sometimes, and I believe in expanding the boundaries of the medium. That's what Graffiti was when it began. Sometimes I tell my audience to call up with no idea what they're going to say and allow me to question them. Other times I do "psychic readings," telling listeners whatever comes into my head when I hear their voices. I'm always looking for new ways to use the medium.

JH: You seem to attract callers who berate you. Not just on your politics, but your personal life. A few, like "Elmo" and "The Woman Hater" really get their hooks in there. When does it stop being a show and start being masochism?

AC: It's always a show and it's never masochism. I'm always mindful that I'm there to entertain people, and when you do a very personable, personal, relatable show night after night there are going to be those who take shots at you and use whatever they can against you. When I stop engendering that kind of response I'll have to take my pulse to make sure I still have the ability to push buttons. Those kinds of calls tells me I'm hitting some of the right notes.

JH: Since so much of your program deals with social issues, especially free speech, you are often explaining the difference between your idealism and personal creed. Example: Nazis can march in Skokie, but you're no fan of Nazism. The rest of us have the luxury of changing our minds on tough issues like this as time moves on, but since your career is based on the consistency of your ideas, have you ever regretted a position you've taken on an event later down the line?

AC: I'm sorry I was so willing to believe that Bill Clinton never had "sexual relations" with Monica Lewinsky. I wanted to believe the best. I didn't want him to have done it. And I've been greatly disappointed by the President, but that is my personal view of him, not my opinion of his presidency. I've been on the fence on some issues before coming down squarely on one side. I was unsure about term limits, but then came to see that in a Democracy, one should have the right to vote for a candidate as long as that candidate can run, and that includes the presidency.

JH: Are there certain publications, periodicals, reference books--other than objective news reports--you turn to that help you formulate your stance on topical issues? This is not to imply that your ideas are not your own--just as a way to arm yourself when backing up your argument.

AC: I read the editorials and Op-Ed pieces in the New York Times and the Washington Post. But I also read the New York Post and the Washington Times. In fact, to do what I do effectively, you have to read all sides. Then osmosis takes place and you hope the right turns of phrase emit from your larynx.

Will the defendant please rhyme?

JH: For the last time, what in the hell are you doing on "Fear of a Black Planet" and was there really a law suit involved?

AC: Chuck D of Public Enemy took an interview we did on WNBC and sampled it. I was upset that I hadn't been asked permission and felt I was taken out of context and made to sound smarmy. I wanted to sue but WNBC was [owned by] Emmis Broadcasting and then Infinity, and they owned the material and didn't want to proceed. Chuck and I now laugh about it. He claims he made me internationally famous.

JH: Many of your comments are tongue-in-cheek, and often meant to annoy whomever you are jousting with, but I've heard you say, on many occasions, albeit to hard-line conservatives, that Bill Clinton is your "hero" and "the greatest President ever." How can an adulterer, opponent of gay marriages and dismantler of welfare be a hero to a nice liberal like you? And, when you say greatest President ever, are you basing this solely on his great speech-giving prowess, or serious studies comparing and contrasting his policies with that of Jefferson, Lincoln, Wilson, FDR, Kennedy etc.?

AC: Boy, for someone whose perceptions are acute enough to recognize the parody of the chat room, I would expect a different understanding on this one. I don't think Bill Clinton is "the greatest president ever." A great president doesn't engender such divisiveness. That's what a talk show host does, not a president. When the White House was pushing its Health Care plan they invited a bunch of talk show hosts to do their programs from The South Lawn. Revving up the presentation, I shouted into the microphone, "Bill Clinton is the greatest president who ever lived," and the response was most enjoyable. Subsequently, I wrote a song parody to "The Greatest Love of All" called "The Greatest President of All." I've taken the hate that so often occurs with this president and inverted it.

JH: Can you give a quick, painless answer for why not one Colmes program is without a Jewish caller screaming about African-Americans, or an African-American screaming about Jews? Is it YOU?

AC: This is because the Abner Louima and Amadou Diallo stories are front-and-center these days. And there is a new Prime Minister of Israel. All things are cyclical.

JH: Do you ever wake up some mornings and say, "Ugh! I don't have the energy to talk about ALL THAT again today!!"?

AC: Yes. That's when I earn my money.

JH: What's the one thing Alan Colmes loves that never gets mentioned on the show? Tennis? Cajun cooking? Neil Young? It can't ALL be Rudy Crew and Abner Louima!

AC: She might be reading this.

If you're not in WEVD's range, or without a cable hookup for Fox News, you can still get more Alan by hitting www.alan.com