All those critics who jumped to declare Wild Wild West this year's Hudson Hawk jumped to soon. The last word in brainless, overpriced super-bombs belongs to Mystery Men, a staggeringly disappointing bore featuring an achingly talented cadre of actors.

Recipe for a bad movie: take some of the most exciting comedic talents working today, cook up a passably witty script, then, oh, I don't know . . . piss in it or something. You couldn't end up with a worse result than Mystery Men. The first-time director, Kinka Usher, like many first time directors who came from the world of commercials or music videos (David Fincher and Michael Bay are two other fine examples) hasn't a clue how to shoot a feature film. Usher's camera has no idea where to position itself, the editing feels like schlepping camping gear through a crowded disco, and ninety percent of the shots use a wide wide angle lens, which is particularly annoying in the many close-ups, often with characters talking pointlessly into the camera (a la Jonathon Demme, by way of some gangsta rap video). Making this all the worse is that many of the characters have grotesque facial features. And many of the characters have annoying speech impediments or accents, which makes this a movie that's as difficult to listen to as it is to watch.

The premise is that the superhero of Champion City, which is a Blade Runner-ish Batman-ish futuristic-feeling parallel universe in the modern day (with contemporary product plugs), has cleaned up so much crime that he doesn't have much to do and is losing his cushy corporate endorsements. His name is Captain Amazing (played by Greg Kinnear), and in order to provide himself a raison d'être, he orchestrates the release of supervillain Casanova Frankenstein (Geoffrey Rush) from a mental hospital.

Frankenstein quickly captures Captain Amazing, and three wannabe superheroes, The Shoveler (William H. Macy), Mr. Furious (Ben Stiller), and The Blue Raja (Hank Azaria) try to recruit some fellow superheroes to help rescue him. They end up with The Invisible Boy (Kel Mitchell), The Bowler (Janeane Garofalo) and The Spleen (Paul Reubens), whose talent is farting. Eventually they are assisted by The Sphinx (Wes Studi) who teaches them how to be class superheroes and work as a team. The scenes where he trains them are the best in the film, and provide a few laughs.

In fact, many scenes where these fantastic talents are allowed to interact and trade barbs are funny enough. But those scenes are few and far between, and the bulk of the film is just a lot of pointless mayhem with humor supplied by surprise doses of Yiddish (and some Hebrew letters, but don't blink), and fart jokes. There's also a pointless romantic subplot. Some audiences may be charmed by the charisma of the leads, but to them I ask: can you imagine, with all this great talent, what could (and should) have been?

There are a few amusing spoofs of the conventions of the superhero genre (The Shoveler is convinced that Captain Amazing can't be the alter ego of billionaire Lance Hunt because one man wears glasses and the other doesn't), but why would a film seeking to satirize chaotic, over-produced superhero films be so chaotic and over-produced itself? Mystery Men is as bad as the worst Batman films, and being as bad as Joel Schumacher is something of an accomplishment.

The most distressing thing about Mystery Men is how boring the film is. It has virtually no momentum. As disheartening as big-budget Hollywood product like Wild Wild West is, at least those filmmakers know how to make it move. I'm not sure which is worse: soulless professionalism or mindless incompetence.

But I do know they haven't invented the superhero strong enough to make me sit through Mystery Men again. It's the year's biggest disappointment.