Name: Jade,Zara,Paige
Subject: No groupy
-- Nov 29, 2007 at 10:10AM
we are sorry to inform u bt our poor umper lumper lilly had joind a diffrent club and we have nw kicked her out of our tribe. we are still umper lumpers wid orange faces and green hairs on our legs.we love u ppl x
Name: jade,lilly,zara,paig e
Subject: nw groupy
-- Oct 4, 2007 at 10:14AM
we nw ave a nw gang member in our tribe. her name is spud (paige) welcome er plz, welcome welcome welcome x we hope u like your orange face and green hairs on ya legs x
Name: jade,zara,lilly
Subject: yo man
-- Oct 2, 2007 at 12:40PM
wow, we are the ommpa lummpa tribe, yes we are small and orange and have green haire on our legs, so incase u wnted to know the story was all rong the gobs didnt die we smoked marajuana until the sky went baby pink,remember children dnt talk to small orange people wid green haire on the legs, u will gt eaten whaaaaa. xxx bibi x
Name: Zykecia
Subject: fish bet
-- Feb 15, 2007 at 7:23PM
once I saw a person saying to me do you know what fish bet meen he said go to fish stuff.com.And I went on it there was not such thing as that.Ha Ha Ha
Name: hi
Subject: mkay
-- Aug 19, 2006 at 3:01AM
I thought it was funny in some parts. I didn't like the swear words or the sex-topic candies. It was funny, but you need to tone it down. Children are reading this!
Name: Jillian
Subject: umpa lumpa song
-- Mar 5, 2006 at 6:42PM
i came 2 this page 2 get the Umpa Lumpa lyrics but i couldnt find anything. :(
Name: Sara of West End
Subject: Very amusing
-- Oct 18, 2005 at 12:14AM
This story was really funny, but as for the truth about Mr Wonka's life, some might be interested (or otherwise find it quite boring in comparison) to know that he first got into the candy-making business at age 15 via his mentor, Chef Rugher, a pastry chef and chocolatier who taught him everything he knew. As for Mr. Wonka's education, sadly...The workhouse in which he had grown up (Known as Heatherman Children's Assylum) provided him with little more then a ninth grade education. He never attended college. Mr. Wonka's mother was an washerwoman who died of consumption when he was seven, and when I had asked him of his mother's name he simply replied "Her name was Mrs Wonka. But I called her Marm." It seemed a sensative subject, so I hadn't the heart to press the matter. He doesn't speak of his father.
Oh, and by the way, Charlie is engaged, but due to the recent loss of his Grandpa George last July, the wedding has been postponed until further notice.
Just thought you might like to know... :)
Name: rhea
Subject: correction
-- Sep 22, 2005 at 12:22PM
in what i wrote before---i spelled "obviously" ; with an "i"...i wanted everyone to know that i really can spell, i just can't type apparently
Name: rhea
Subject: well
-- Sep 22, 2005 at 12:20PM
hey, i thought it was good...and funny. yeah, i liked it, ignore those other people (they ibviously think pretty highly of their own opinion--probably without any basis). anyway, i thought it was funny, especially the shit river (though it did make me cringe a bit). but--to all you other guys that have posted before me, thanks--i had lots of fun editting your horribly written "reviews". ..so long! (keep writing, and once again--i liked it)
Name: Shelby Crockett
Subject: willy wonka
-- Aug 27, 2005 at 9:45PM
i love willy he is so funny! i have read and wached all your movies! And i have met you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!
Name: Scarlett
Subject: I like Johnny
-- Aug 20, 2005 at 8:39PM
This was pretty funny
Name: Anarchy
Subject: ...
-- Aug 9, 2005 at 5:38PM
wtf?!
...someone obviously had too much time...
Name: mikki
Subject: bitch
-- Aug 4, 2005 at 12:46PM
this shit is not true, its fuckin dog shit!!!
Name: DESTINEYE
Subject: FACTORY
-- Jul 24, 2005 at 8:19PM
CAN YOU SHOW ME A PICTURE OF THE FACYORY LOOKS LIKE?
Name: DontFearTheReefer
Subject: Garbage
-- Jun 25, 2005 at 6:14PM
get a job that doenst involve creative writing, computers, pens... anything sharp really... stay away from writing. If this crap is presentable to the public, i would love to the the wank you think is too bad. Nice point on chocolate ciggarettes training kids to be smokers, but very poorly executed. Nice idea, try it more simple, it was about 6 times too long.
DO NOT WRITE STUFF
DO NOT WRITE STUFF
DO NOT WRITE STUFF
DO NOT WRITE STUFF
DO NOT WRITE STUFF
Name: acidjunkie
Subject: no no no
-- Jun 24, 2005 at 1:35AM
I must say... that was terrible. "The life and Atrocities of Willy Wonka" is a marvelous idea, in fact, I came up with an elaborite 'acid lab' wonka conspiracy theory for my friends (when I was on lsd) and I only wish I had the time to waste putting it into an article. This was absolute diahrrea of the mouth (of keyboard) and I'm sorry you lack the creativity to make this fecal matter reabable. Unlike Laure (speaking of which you SUCK) I don't think you're sick or twisted for making something like this, I just think you have no talent or future in writing. To put it bluntly "YOU LOSE, GOOD DAY SIR!"
Name: Triss Shwartz
Subject: my my my
-- Jun 18, 2005 at 5:19PM
OK.....er.....ok. Actually, laura sums it all up well...
I liked the beginning, and some parts were a little amusing, but it went downhill fast. How can you debautch an icon like that? I mean, Gene Wilder? or even just the book Wonka guy? I can understand messing with Johnny Depp wonka, because i have the idea that its going to be creepy... but C'MON! Gene? I always loved Gene:(
Less maniacle murderings and more sex, please! If you are going to traumatize people, at least do it in ways they actually like but cant in their right mind attest to their supremely sick enjoyments...
Name: Laure
Subject: um.
-- Jun 18, 2005 at 5:07PM
HOLY FUCK YOU ARE A PSYCHOPATH AND YOU BUTCHER WILLY WONKA BETTER THAN I BUTCHER SANTA CLAUSE. You sick fuck. Im going to throw up now.
Name: John
Subject: Once again
-- Apr 25, 2005 at 6:26AM
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO
I'VE GOT A PERFECT PUZZLE FOR YOU
OOMPA LOOMPA, DOOMPADAH DEE
IF YOU ARE WISE YOU'LL LISTEN ME
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU GUZZLE DOWN SWEETS
EATING AS MUCH AS AN ELEPHANT EATS
WHAT ARE YOU AT GETTING TERRIBLY FAT
WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL COME OF THAT
I DON'T LIKE THE LOOK OF IT
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DAH
IF YOU'RE NOT GREEDY YOU WILL GO FAR
YOU WILL LIVE IN HAPPINESS TOO
LIKE THE OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DO
DOOMPADEE DOO
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO
I'VE GOT ANOTHER PUZZLE FOR YOU
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADAH DEE
IF YOU ARE WISE YOU'LL LISTEN TO ME
GUM CHEWING'S FINE WHEN IT'S ONCE IN A WHILE
IT STOPS YOU FROM SMOKING AND BRIGHTENS YOUR SMILE
BUT IT'S REPULSIVE, REVOLTING, AND WRONG
CHEWING AND CHEWING ALL DAY LONG
THE WAY THAT A COW DOES
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DAH
GIVEN GOOD MANNERS YOU WILL GO FAR
YOU WILL LIVE IN HAPPINESS TOO
LIKE THE OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DO
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO
I'VE GOT ANOTHER PUZZLE FOR
YOU OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADAH DEE
IF YOU ARE WISE YOU'LL LISTEN TO ME
WHO DO YOU BLAME WHEN YOUR KID IS A BRAT
PAMPERED AND SPOILED LIKE A SIAMESE CAT
BLAMING THE KIDS IS A LIE AND A SHAME
YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO'S TO BLAME
THE MOTHER AND THE FATHER
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DAH
IF YOU'RE NOT SPOILED THEN YOU WILL GO FAR.
YOU WILL LIVE IN HAPPINESS TOO
LIKE THE OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DO
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO
I'VE GOT ANOTHER PUZZLE FOR YOU
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADAH DEE
IF YOU ARE WISE YOU'LL LISTEN TO ME
WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A GLUT OF TV
A PAIN IN THE NECK AND AN I.Q. OF THREE
WHY DON'T YOU TRY SIMPLY READING A BOOK
OR COULD YOU JUST NOT BEAR TO LOOK
YOU'LL GET NO
YOU'LL GET NO
YOU'LL GET NO
YOU'LL GET NO
YOU'LL GET NO COMMERCIALS.
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DAH
IF YOU'RE NOT GREEDY YOU WILL GO FAR
YOU WILL LIVE IN HAPPINESS TOO
LIKE THE
OOMPA
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DO
Name: Kiki
Subject: Lyrics for oompa loompa song?
-- Feb 4, 2005 at 11:22AM
Does anyone have the lyrics for the oompa loompa song where they sing about how awful the tv is, ?
Name: A real Oompa Loompa
Subject: I'm the real thing
-- Jan 24, 2005 at 12:49AM
I'm a oompa loompa and this is just to prove that there really are oompa's out there. I like the plans for the Icing Covered boobies. And Wonka is crazy
Name: Judy
Subject: Re: Oompa Loompa Costume
-- Oct 27, 2004 at 12:19PM
I am using a pair of brown socks that I striped with a bleach pen, along with an old turtle neck that I dyed brown with fabric dye and then striped the cuffs and turtle neck with bleach pen. White sweat pants that I will roll under, white felt sewn into strips for suspenders with painted buttons. My face is orange with white eyebrows and green hairspray. Brown pom poms for my shoes. Good luck
Name: Jen
Subject: Oompa Loompa
-- Oct 27, 2004 at 1:33AM
Debby posted:
as for costumes. I'm the seamstress you need.
Ask & I'll send my email.
I've been making adult costumes for over 10 years. This year my friends decided to do Oompa Loompas!! So I've yet to finish the socks & the shoe toppers.
I would love to get in touch with you, to talk about the oompa loompa costumes you made. Thanx!
Name: Caitlyn
Subject: Umpa Loompa's
-- Oct 24, 2004 at 9:22PM
Hey well im going to be an Umpa Loompa for halloween, my sisters for a club i am pledgin 4 assigned me this costume i need to know the EXACT thing that they wear 4m head to feet
Name: korey
Subject: oompa loompas pictures
-- Oct 23, 2004 at 9:40AM
can u send me some oompa loompe pictures
Name: Tashia
Subject: oompa loompa costumes for a toddler
-- Oct 21, 2004 at 11:44AM
I was wanting to buy a oompa loompa costumes for my daughter
Name: debby
Subject: pics & costumes
-- Oct 5, 2004 at 6:51AM
for pics- go to Google/Images & search for Oompa Loompa-they actually have some pics from the movie, but you have to scroll thru a lot of homemade costumes to find them.
as for costumes. I'm the seamstress you need.
Ask & I'll send my email.
I've been making adult costumes for over 10 years. This year my friends decided to do Oompa Loompas!! So I've yet to finish the socks & the shoe toppers.
I'd love to see the finished Willy Wonka Costume!
Name: Kathy
Subject: Oompa Loompa Costume
-- Oct 3, 2004 at 1:48AM
I would love to see your finished costume. I am trying to figure out how to get one made myself - If I could find a seamstress or just figure it out for myself. Good Luck
Name: angie p
Subject: costume
-- Sep 26, 2004 at 10:05AM
I am making an oompa loompa costume for this halloween for myself. I will show it if anyone wants to email me. give me a few weeks to get it finished though.
Name: kaycie
Subject: oompa lumpa costume
-- Sep 21, 2004 at 10:46PM
i realllllllllllly want an oompa lumpa costume for holloween!!!!!!!!!!!
says sister krystin, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaass ssssssssssssssseeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee tell me where i can find one!!!!!
Name: chris
Subject: costume?
-- Sep 21, 2004 at 8:57PM
hey i really want to get a good oompa loompa costume. if anyone knows were i can find one, email the link to me at bballcm15@aol.com thankz
Name: amy
Subject: costumes
-- Sep 3, 2004 at 4:59PM
We are looking for GOOD costumes for Willy Wonka and Oompu Loompus. The one for Willy on line is terrible need some ideas.
Name: matt
Subject: nonsense
-- May 19, 2004 at 8:49PM
we are the music makers
we are the dreamers of the dream
Name: Tommy Chuckle
Subject: The song
-- Apr 19, 2004 at 6:41AM
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO
I'VE GOT A PERFECT PUZZLE FOR YOU
OOMPA LOOMPA, DOOMPADAH DEE
IF YOU ARE WISE YOU'LL LISTEN ME
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU GUZZLE DOWN SWEETS
EATING AS MUCH AS AN ELEPHANT EATS
WHAT ARE YOU AT GETTING TERRIBLY FAT
WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL COME OF THAT
I DON'T LIKE THE LOOK OF IT
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DAH
IF YOU'RE NOT GREEDY YOU WILL GO FAR
YOU WILL LIVE IN HAPPINESS TOO
LIKE THE OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DO
DOOMPADEE DOO
Name: Franklin Pierce
Subject: I am not an auk
-- Apr 3, 2004 at 2:28AM
I've been perusing this highly entertaining internet computer screen you've given me and I find it odd that you would include this particular information, since it seems on some level to be nearly apocryphal, although the scope is certainly breathtaking on par with a future homily I shall certainly deliver on the subject of APPLES (writ large for effect), to wit: note that in the earlier parts of the book "apple" is used to mean non-argyle, non-sock object whereas (and much more pointedly, I must bear witness) in a later passage "apple" is not quite so clearly delineated, vis non-argyle, non-sock. Perhaps not, I'm still working on it.
Name: Nike
Subject: What The Fuck
-- Mar 12, 2004 at 9:05PM
what the hell is wrong with u people I'm not even 16 yet and I'm pretty damn sure there is no creature called an oompa loompa.
Where the hell would they,them,or it come from
United Natoins of Oompa
No!!!! They are made up snap back to reality people you're Adults so stop acting like Adumbass
Name: et
Subject: umpa lumpa lyrics
-- Mar 10, 2004 at 6:08PM
what are the lyrics for the umpa lumpas
Name: cp
Subject: oompaloompa
-- Mar 6, 2004 at 8:52PM
i need a picture of an oompaloompa please
Name: An LS.n Reader
Subject: Mein Kandy: The Life and Atrocities of Willy Wonka
-- Mar 3, 2004 at 2:28PM
Was Willy Wonka Irish?
I need to know for an awesome St.Patty's Day party I'm about to throw. Please email me ASAP. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, Amy
Name: michelle
Subject: oompa loompa
-- Dec 5, 2003 at 11:55PM
GOOGLE.COM
IMAGE SEARCH
oompa loompa
Name: Becky
Subject: Oopma Loopma
-- Oct 24, 2003 at 7:58PM
I for got to say that my e-mail adress is powerpuff360@hotmail .com tell me if u find anything thx and plzzzzzzzzz
Name: Becky
Subject: Oopma Loompa pic
-- Oct 24, 2003 at 7:57PM
Yo listen I need an oopma loopma pictures i have been looking all day
Name: Jeanne
Subject: Oopma Loompa
-- Oct 21, 2003 at 7:58PM
I need a picture of Oopma Loompa! MJmathews4@aol.com Thanks!
Name: Stephanie
Subject: Oopma Loompa pic
-- Oct 14, 2003 at 11:19PM
I need a Oopma Loompa Pic as well! If anyone finds one email me PLEASE!!! babie077@aol.com THANks!
Name: Sarah
Subject: Oompa Loompa Pics
-- Oct 13, 2003 at 1:53PM
Does anyone know where I can find a pic of the little green guys? Please email me!!!
Name: Blaire
Subject: oompa loompa picture
-- Oct 6, 2003 at 7:31AM
i need a picture of an oompa lumpa for my son's school project. can anyone help me? thanks!
Name: pat
Subject: oompa loompa costumes for my son
-- Oct 5, 2003 at 2:05PM
where the heck can i find an oompa loompa costume that would fit my son who is 4 ft 7 in
Name: Crys
Subject: oompa loompa help
-- Sep 7, 2003 at 5:08PM
does anyone no were i can get oompa loompa pictures?!?!?!EMAIL ME IF U DO!!!..thanks
Name: Rob
Subject: Oompa Loompas
-- Aug 5, 2003 at 3:10PM
Oompa Loompas are very awsome! But Willy Wonka is just one messed up dude!
Name: Wonker
Subject: Why do I get attacked by Freaks?
-- Jun 25, 2003 at 5:14PM
Simple. People cannot tell the difference of Wonka and Wonker.
My site gets questions, hate mail and more, all because of your site. Well done! Made me laugh!
Name: upthedownspiral
Subject: ferry ride
-- Jun 18, 2003 at 5:01PM
does anyone know the words to the song wonkasings when they are taking the sary ferry ride? if so please email them to bulldognumba1@aol.co m
Name: alma
Subject: hahaha
-- May 29, 2003 at 8:40AM
oh my god. hahahaha
Name: Getchell
Subject: Oompa Pompas
-- May 21, 2003 at 1:47PM
This is the fucking coolest thing that I have ever seen. Very good of a laugh
Name: Getchell
Subject: Oompa Pompas
-- May 21, 2003 at 1:47PM
This is the fucking coolest thing that I have ever seen. Very good of a laugh
Name: Bill
Subject: Oompah Loompah
-- May 20, 2003 at 1:28PM
i came to this site
looking for oompah loompah
porn and was cruely
dissapointed as i have
been looking fot this
brand of porn for quite
some time
If anyone has found this
then let me know
Name: Catey
Subject: U Didnt hepl
-- May 5, 2003 at 1:50PM
I needed to know about is candy like nerds where they came a bout and stuff like that but everything else was interesting so thanks
Name: Amanda
Subject: Mein kandy
-- May 2, 2003 at 2:38PM
Ur a freak and it seems like you know it .
You sick too
hope life gets better for u.
Name: Brian
Subject: Mein Kandy
-- Apr 18, 2003 at 2:41PM
That is frightening. Brilliant, but frightening. Great work!
Name: Kelly
Subject: OOOMPAS
-- Apr 15, 2003 at 4:08PM
OOMPA LOOMPAS RAWK MAH WORLD!!!!!
Name: Tha Pooch
Subject: Oompa Lumpa lyrics
-- Mar 27, 2003 at 7:51PM
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO
I'VE GOT A PERFECT PUZZLE FOR YOU
OOMPA LOOMPA, DOOMPADAH DEE
IF YOU ARE WISE YOU'LL LISTEN ME
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU GUZZLE DOWN SWEETS
EATING AS MUCH AS AN ELEPHANT EATS
WHAT ARE YOU AT GETTING TERRIBLY FAT
WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL COME OF THAT
I DON'T LIKE THE LOOK OF IT
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DAH
IF YOU'RE NOT GREEDY YOU WILL GO FAR
YOU WILL LIVE IN HAPPINESS TOO
LIKE THE OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DO
DOOMPADEE DOO
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO
I'VE GOT ANOTHER PUZZLE FOR YOU
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADAH DEE
IF YOU ARE WISE YOU'LL LISTEN TO ME
GUM CHEWING'S FINE WHEN IT'S ONCE IN A WHILE
IT STOPS YOU FROM SMOKING AND BRIGHTENS YOUR SMILE
BUT IT'S REPULSIVE, REVOLTING, AND WRONG
CHEWING AND CHEWING ALL DAY LONG
THE WAY THAT A COW DOES
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DAH
GIVEN GOOD MANNERS YOU WILL GO FAR
YOU WILL LIVE IN HAPPINESS TOO
LIKE THE OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DO
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO
I'VE GOT ANOTHER PUZZLE FOR
YOU OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADAH DEE
IF YOU ARE WISE YOU'LL LISTEN TO ME
WHO DO YOU BLAME WHEN YOUR KID IS A BRAT
PAMPERED AND SPOILED LIKE A SIAMESE CAT
BLAMING THE KIDS IS A LIE AND A SHAME
YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO'S TO BLAME
THE MOTHER AND THE FATHER
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DAH
IF YOU'RE NOT SPOILED THEN YOU WILL GO FAR.
YOU WILL LIVE IN HAPPINESS TOO
LIKE THE OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DO
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO
I'VE GOT ANOTHER PUZZLE FOR YOU
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADAH DEE
IF YOU ARE WISE YOU'LL LISTEN TO ME
WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A GLUT OF TV
A PAIN IN THE NECK AND AN I.Q. OF THREE
WHY DON'T YOU TRY SIMPLY READING A BOOK
OR COULD YOU JUST NOT BEAR TO LOOK
YOU'LL GET NO
YOU'LL GET NO
YOU'LL GET NO
YOU'LL GET NO
YOU'LL GET NO COMMERCIALS.
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DAH
IF YOU'RE NOT GREEDY YOU WILL GO FAR
YOU WILL LIVE IN HAPPINESS TOO
LIKE THE
OOMPA
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DO
Name: Tha Pooch
Subject: Jeez, how do ya come up with this stuff
-- Mar 27, 2003 at 7:16PM
I've read this, and i've alwayz wondered how people can come up with some much bull shit. U mustn't have much of a life, if you can waste all your time thinkin of such crap. Although it is all rather funny, u betta hope you don't upset any big believers of wonka. I know a lot of people who look up to the candy man like a god. And what have you got against oompa lumpas?!? they're cool! And its not that difficult to find the oompa lumpa song. I've got the lyrics and the song downloaded to the computer and i found them both within a day!
Name: oompa
Subject: oompa icon
-- Mar 9, 2003 at 3:01PM
hi i really like willywonka so can u please tell me where u got the icon from thanx u
P.S. my screen name is with an O not a zero.
Name: oompa
Subject: oompa icon
-- Feb 18, 2003 at 9:33PM
hey...i have the same icon of an oompa loompa rolling violet away but i can't find it anymore!!! ugh can someone send me the link to it? pretty please thank you
Name: momoney4me01@aol.com
Subject: hell ya
-- Feb 17, 2003 at 2:45PM
yo do any of u's kno the ompa loompa song?? if any of u's do then email the lyrics to me at momoney4me01@aol.com !!!
Name: oh sarah bin fuckin
Subject: what!!!!
-- Jan 25, 2003 at 12:09PM
WHat YoU SmokiNg!!!!
whatever it is please send it to 1 saint st.
Name: Meagan
Subject: What!?!?!
-- Jan 24, 2003 at 11:10PM
What kind of shit is this? Like were supossed to believe that Oompa Loompas are real? Whatever! Screw you man. Oompa Loompas are real and im a millionaire. Ha. you must have smoked something before you wrote this. may i suggest some serious physcological help?
Name: WonkaGirl2004
Subject: AWESOME!
-- Jan 3, 2003 at 4:40PM
i don't know why some of these people seem so offended by what you wrote! I love Willy Wonka the movie, and I've read the book! For someone who has just watched the movie...i think the imagination behind this is genious... either that or drug related, but either way I am very impressed...I laughed heartily, and I think anyone who has a problem with this story has an issue of their own!
Name: PIMPMONKEY
Subject: LACONIA...MULLETS
-- Dec 25, 2002 at 9:20PM
TASTY?! AND THEY THOUGHT THIS LITTLE TASTE OF PERSONALITY WAS A PERVERSION
Name: PIMPMONKEY
Subject: BAGE...IGNORANCE?!!!
-- Dec 25, 2002 at 9:12PM
YOU SAY WATCHING T.V. CAUSED THIS ARTICULATION OF A MAN'S IMAGINATION? OH WAIT THAT'S RIGHT HE HAS NO IMAGINATION BECAUSE HE DOESN'T READ. BUT ... HOW IS IT THAT YOU KNOW THAT? AND FOR SOMEONE WITH NO IMAGINATION I THINK HE JUST WAXED YOUR ASS CRACK FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!
Name: PIMPMONKEY
Subject: CARLY
-- Dec 25, 2002 at 9:06PM
GET A LIFE...A CLUE...A REAL HAIR COLOR...A NEW HOBBY...SOMETHING!!!
Name: PIMPMONKEY
Subject: WONKAISM
-- Dec 25, 2002 at 9:03PM
TOTALLY THRASHING!LOVED IT!SHARED IT WITH MY SISTER, ANOTHER WONKA DEVOTEE AND ONE OF THE MOST VIVID IMAGIONISTS I HAVE EVER HAD THE PLEASURE OF READING. ALTHOUGH YOU DO COME CLOSE. JAG IT!!!
Name: An LS.n Reader
Subject: Mein Kandy: The Life and Atrocities of Willy Wonka
-- Dec 12, 2002 at 4:16PM
Great story, hilarious. Here's the thing, a friend and I do webcomics. It would be cool to do one of this story? Would it be okay? Ask for the address to the sit by e-mail, to at least look over. This way, it's not like I'm pushing free publicity onto this site. Thank you.
Name: mike
Subject: Re: wily wonka
-- Nov 30, 2002 at 4:30PM
it made me laugh but man you must have bin whacked out
Name: evind
Subject: wily wonka
-- Nov 26, 2002 at 11:53AM
i love wily wonka
Name: Cherry
Subject: can I have it?
-- Nov 16, 2002 at 3:39AM
What ever your on...can I have it...
Name: bekki
Subject: the song
-- Nov 15, 2002 at 8:00AM
does anyone no were i can get the lyrics for the oompa loompa song?????? i need it urgently!1
Name: Carly
Subject: what?!
-- Nov 12, 2002 at 3:54PM
Did all of this relaly happen? Did Willy Wonka really grow up that way?
Name: killy
Subject: Garbage
-- Nov 7, 2002 at 1:40PM
What a load of bollocks. i ve never heard so much shit talk in all my life
Name: Dr. Marcus Welby
Subject: Smok'em if you got'em
-- Oct 21, 2002 at 11:17AM
Oh my! Although quite amusing in some parts, I do believe you were smoking more than just Wonka Nicogoobles. But fear not the holds of your Wonka life and bear down on the oompa's as you would tieing your own shoes. Leave the center of gravity and slide more to the lost world of Alice in Wonderland. Do or do not there is no try.
;-)~
Name: smartasskt
Subject: oompa loompa costume
-- Oct 19, 2002 at 9:39AM
where the heck can i find an oompa loopa costume, or a picture of one.
Name: Rocko
Subject: umpa lumpa costume
-- Oct 15, 2002 at 3:27PM
where can i find one?
Name: oompa
Subject: oompa loompa costume
-- Oct 12, 2002 at 8:27PM
where can i find an oompa lumpa costume?
Name: oompa
Subject: oompa loompa costume
-- Sep 20, 2002 at 11:19AM
i did a search for oompa loompa costume instructions and this site popped up... ? anyone know where i can find this info? or any other ideas? thanks.
Name: Mad Dog
Subject: Wonka as a Psychopath
-- Aug 23, 2002 at 2:32AM
Your conclusions are not unique. Wonka is a psychopath, as evidenced by the movie. Check out the essay at:
http://www.geoci ties.com/snortar/ran ts.html#wonka
Name: paul aka midget on stilts
Subject: OOMPALOOMPAS ROCK
-- Aug 14, 2002 at 10:58PM
As a vertically challenged person it has been very informative to learn about this nutjob named wonka who enslaved my ancestors. To all you wonka kin beware for the day of reckoning is at hand.DIE wonka scum.
p.s. KICK ASS website
PLUR
Name: KrYpTiC K
Subject: Wiwwy Wonta
-- Aug 12, 2002 at 4:33AM
gweetings gentowmen,
My name is "kwiptick k" (i hope yew down't mind pwotecting my annanimitwy?).
After weeding your infwormative artwicles and other infwormation fwum your website and having thorwolly puhwused same, i have weached a dumbfounded and unpwecidented state of wemorse.
fwum the days of my childhwood i have wuvved wiwwy wonka deerwly, and i am so vewwy happy for i now know the twooth about his sham of a wife and all of his vewwy evil deeds.
he is twooly and obvwioussly unwepentant and awwogant beyond beweef!
had i been infwormed of these detwails pweeviusswy, i would not have destwoyd the better part of my childhwood and waiter scwood my own wife in fwunt of the televwision, viewwing what i now beweeve to be nothing more than a gwate big why!
i further beweave those whying howwywood movie pwoducers intentionawy pwepared and pwoduced it with the pweecise and expwess purpwuss to enswave the childwen of amerwicca and the world!
i am perswonally holding them wesponsible for evwy faiwlure and for all the yeard my wife has whacked of pweasure - those wascawwy howwywood devils!
wegawding wiwwy wonka himself, i certanwy hope we don't wun into each other, i will hold my wife in fwunt of him, the naked sowl of my wife scweaming: twhy you devowish bastard! twhy to bwing pweasure back into my wife you lywer!
perhaps i should go and why down now, i'm feewing vewwy depwessed... oh my wife... oh my dweams...
and here's the kwincher fewwuz: the speshowists have all agweed that my particuwar handicap was caused wong ago and has been attwibuted to pwowonged peewiods of sucking everwasting gobbstopper jaw bwakers!
oooooooh! that wascal wiwwy better wun away! if i ever get my hands on his chochwate covered hide i'll wing his wittle neck! i'm saying it's awight to swap an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth and a wife for a wife,white?!
well, thank you folks vewwy much for your bold weporting of this wiwwy wonka matter
k
Name: conspiracytheorist
Subject: I believe...
-- Jul 24, 2002 at 11:04AM
FACTORY WORKER DIES AFTER BEING SUBMERGED IN CHOCOLATE VAT ·
---------------- -------------------- -------------------- -----------------
·
^·
·
(HATFIELD, PENNSYLVANIA-AP) -- AUTHORITIES SAY A CANDY FACTORY·
WORKER IS DEAD AFTER APPARENTLY FALLING INTO A VAT OF LIQUEFIED·
CHOCOLATE.·
·
POLICE SAY THE 19-YEAR-OLD MAN WAS DISCOVERED IN THE·
12-HUNDRED-GALLO N VAT BY HIS CO-WORKERS AT THE FACTORY IN HATFIELD,·
PENNSYLVANIA YESTERDAY.·
·
THEY BELIEVE HE HAD BEEN WORKING ON A PLATFORM NEAR THE OPENING·
OF THE VAT, WHICH IS USED FOR MIXING AND MELTING CHOCOLATE.·
·
NOBODY SAW THE WORKER FALL AND IT'S UNKNOWN HOW LONG HE WAS·
SUBMERGED IN THE CHOCOLATE BEFORE HE WAS FOUND.·
·
HE WAS PRONOUNCED DEAD AT THE SCENE.·
·
POLICE DON'T SUSPECT FOUL PLAY. THEY SAY HIS DEATH IS BEING·
INVESTIGATED AS AN ACCIDENT.·
Name: Kat AKA Veruca
Subject: I'll defend this website with a licorice whip!
-- Jun 13, 2002 at 6:24AM
Hello All,
>I'll defend this site with a licorice whip! I have a British butler, a fahthah who's related to David Tomlinson, and the backing of England's best supporters! I always get my way, and when I want it now (sex, drugs, rock & roll, or just a fresh martini), I get it!
>This website ROCKS!
Later,
Kat AKA Veruca
Name: Wishbone
Subject: yuh-huh
-- Jun 8, 2002 at 11:37PM
This world is also filled with angry, bitter old people with nothing else to do but chew out a light-hearted article like this.
Name: bagel
Subject: this world is filled with retards.
-- May 29, 2002 at 3:58AM
i guess you never read the original by Roald Dahl. how about the conceptuals where the Oompa Loomps WERE BLACK SLAVES! if you just let your kids watch the film without reading the books then I think that your kids are going to grow up to be ignorant, stupid, assumption accepting idiots just like you. so, free thinking causes violence in the world today? what about ignorant people who take everything without any thought? that seems far more detrimental. *shrugs* may whatever god you believe in have mercy on you and your children's souls because you all are going to have it rough if you are honestly this stupid.
Name: Mandiz
Subject: what?
-- May 18, 2002 at 3:32PM
what is all this crap you are feeding us? That was the biggest bunch of garbage i have ever read. My 2 kids are huge oompa loompa fans, i sure hope they don't read your garbage. It is stuff like this that causes so much violence in the world today. If I were you I would be ashamed!
Name: Vermicious Canary
Subject: Yeah! I kne it all along!
-- May 13, 2002 at 1:08AM
All my life, I just had this tremendous disliking of the story of Willy Wonka. As much as people tried to keep my mind on the message(es) displayed in the story, something seemed just so warped and backwards about a bunch of sadistic little midgets singing the glory over a bunch of kids dying, and for heaven's sake, I've heard the "they didn't die" excuse over and over agian, so spare me. Either the amount of mixed messages included in that story, be it movie or book, is too extensive for me to ignore. It's wrong to possess a flawed charecter, but there's nothing wrong with making fun of dead people. What kind of a fucked up message is that? It's about time that I found somebody who understood the evil and perfectionistic nature of this so called whimsical fictional charecter amalgum.
Name: Kat AKA Veruca
Subject: I can't believe my '99 post here!
-- May 10, 2002 at 5:25PM
Hello All,
>I can't believe how proper my first post sounded!
>Oh, speaking of Phillip Morris, I was really disturbed to find his blasted ads in various issues of Disney Magazine. These ads talked about the "wait until you're 18" campaign, but they were totally inappropriate for a magazine that kids might have looked through.
>Oh. Don't get too upset, Chris, if people post trippy messages here. After all, some people will never find the blasted Jo-Ann's shop, and others will never find there toes. Don't worry about it. I'll always be here, with words of sanity. JK! I mean, I won't ask you about Oompa Loompa costumes.
>Oh. One can become an Oompa Loompa really easily. Just paste those disguise glasses eyebrows onto your face, and then put on white overalls, a brown shirt, brown and white striped tights, and creepy little shoes, and dye your hair green and slick it up in a freaky way. Then dye your skin orange. See? It's easy.
>I am Veruca Salt. I get everything that I want! JK.
Veruca
Name: NastyOompa@OompaLove .Com
Subject: I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE - I HOPE YOU LIKE ME!!
-- Mar 26, 2002 at 9:49PM
Hey, everybody, check me out! I'm an Oompa who loves to get nasty! My roommate dared me to put these pictures on the Net - I showed her! I hope I don't get too embarrassed! Look at these pictures! I do everything! If you're into Chocolate Streams, then come on over to my site! I'll do it Like the Oompa-Loompa-Doompit ies Do!!
Name: OompaLoompa
Subject: Where's The Love
-- Mar 26, 2002 at 9:45PM
Everybody should stop picking on and being mean to us Oompa-Loompas. It's not our fault that we're short and orange and smell like raisin farts - that's just how God made us, and God made a big world for everybody to fit in. We are just people like everybody else except that we're just shorter and uglier and greener and oranger. Once you get to know us, we're OK except for the incessant chanting and the pedophilia and the way we wipe our snot on other peoples' clothes. So come on, give an Oompa-Loompa a chance. Remember, the more you know, the more you grow!
Name: WillyWonka
Subject: Also...
-- Mar 26, 2002 at 9:39PM
I also wanted to plug my new book coming out in May,
Little Weird Orange People: 20 Years Among The Oompa-Loompas.
Look for it at Barnes & Noble and other fine booksellers.
Peace and save the RainForest!
Name: WillyWonka
Subject: Eleventh Point Of Manifesto
-- Mar 26, 2002 at 9:34PM
I forgot one point of the Manifesto, which is:
11. Nicogoobles again!
Name: WillyWonka
Subject: Manifesto
-- Mar 26, 2002 at 9:28PM
The enemy is insidious, and comes in many disguises. In order to correct the malicious lies being spread about me by organs of the Gobs such as this, I am presenting to the world my Manifesto in Ten Points:
1. Havenfrau's Delights: the Freshmaker
2. All geniuses are initially misunderstood. I was initially misunderstood, and am still misunderstood; therefore, I am an ultra-genius.
3. Nicogoobles (I just like to say it)
4. Once you go Oompa-Loompa, you never go back!
5. Sugar and Nicotine are the Opiates of the Masses
6. Try my new Sugar-Flavored Cigarettes, Nicogoobles (I love that word!)
7. Wow! Look at the shins on that one!
8. Those who oppose the Revolution are not only doomed to the ashbin of history, they are also totally gay.
9. The Benevolent Plans and the Evil Plans are one and the same. Study on this. When you have grasped it, you have grasped the Oompa-Loompa Way.
10. Nicogoobles (Hah!)
Name: danny
Subject: oompas
-- Mar 7, 2002 at 1:15PM
i work with an oompa and he is a ferocious little bastard, the twat always tries to shag my leg. apart from that don't get me wrong he is very good at his job as a proffesional rambler.
Name: john
Subject: NEED HELP
-- Feb 3, 2002 at 5:30PM
HELLO CAN SOME ONE PLESE TELL ME WHERE OR A WEBSITE WHERE U CAN GET A OOMPALOOPA SUIT IF ANY INFO. PLEASE EMAIL ME AT john_oneal12@hotmail .com
Name: Andy
Subject: Hi
-- Feb 2, 2002 at 6:35AM
I can`t find any umpa lumpa pictures
Name: night-tripper
Subject: Wonka on Acid
-- Jan 31, 2002 at 11:26PM
2 nights ago i had a hit of acid and i daw oompa loompas chasing purple teddy bears in my garden i was crackling up and even after my trip finished i couldnt stop larfing for 3 hours afterward
Name: mario
Subject: oompa loompas
-- Jan 17, 2002 at 5:35PM
where do they come from or where do they live
Name: Sabotage
Subject: Wonkers a dead man
-- Jan 15, 2002 at 11:40PM
Willie Wonker killed my brother. Now he must prepare to die. I'm thinking for starters,how bout shoving a goobstopper so far up his ass he has a lump in his throat. Everlasting my ass! Listen up Wonker, I ain't afraid of your Oompa's or your Loompa's, There's a snozeberry flavored casket with your name on it. See you in HELLLLL
Name: spiedie
Subject: this is great!
-- Jan 8, 2002 at 7:48AM
I read this, and I laughed so hard, I had to take a potty break!
keep em comin guys!
Name: psycho
Subject: what the fuck
-- Jan 7, 2002 at 6:25PM
what the hell is goin on? im all to confused i was just looking for some oompa loompas and i get sent to this site. just tell me what the hell this is about? theses oompa loompas are REAL messed up
Name: Me
Subject: Freaks
-- Nov 2, 2001 at 9:12PM
I don't know y but them oompa loompas are some freaky dudes! I mean the orange face and greeen hair what the heck is that? How would u like to walk in the door face to face with the top of some green hair and them point lil shoes look like elf shoes. Overall they are too weird 4 me
Name: Lumpa
Subject: My costume
-- Oct 28, 2001 at 9:09PM
I have pictures of my halloween for 2001. I dressed up as an Oompa Loompa. E-mail me at JenLumpa@aol.com if you want to see pictures.
Name: Vinnie
Subject: Oompa Costume
-- Oct 26, 2001 at 8:02PM
Where do I get a pattern for the Oompa experience???
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: i NEED OOMPA-LOOMPA COMSTUME
-- Oct 25, 2001 at 10:22PM
Do I look like JoAnn's Fabrics? Obviously, none of you actually read the article and were directed to this page via some poor search engine query.
But if you're really interested, check out next weeks column with pics and instructions for a DIY costume!
Name: Dawn
Subject: i NEED OOMPA-LOOMPA COMSTUME
-- Oct 25, 2001 at 7:30PM
i NEED THE PATTERN FOR THE OOMPA- LOOMPA CUSTUME. THANKS
Name: kyle
Subject: Oompa lompA PICS
-- Oct 23, 2001 at 9:56PM
WERE DO IGET GOOD PICS
Name: Elisa
Subject: Oomoa-Loompa costume
-- Oct 12, 2001 at 5:59PM
I need an Oompa-Loompa costume pattern for my son
Name: Debbie
Subject: oompa costume
-- Oct 11, 2001 at 9:34PM
My daughter is going to be an oompa loompa for halloween and I need some good oompa pics.
Name: nadia
Subject: oompa loompa Costume!!!
-- Oct 9, 2001 at 11:12PM
I want the pattern for an oompa loompa
Name: Katie O.
Subject: The kids
-- Sep 24, 2001 at 12:18AM
Augustus would grow up to be a really big, beer guzzling junkie. Violet would grow up to be a bratty, faddish lady, Veruca would grow up to be a dominatrix, and Mike would grow up to be a couch potato.
Wonka and Mrs. Bucket would hopefully obtain sex lives, and Charlie would inherit the factory. Maybe he'd hunt down Veruca and use a licorice whip on her, or maybe she'd just turn him into her slave for awhile .
There was one female Oompa Loompa in the movie. She must have either been a virgin or the Queen Bee, if you know what I mean.
Gosh, but I've been totally naughty now, haven't I? ;)
Name: Janet loompi
Subject: hmmmm
-- Aug 31, 2001 at 12:54AM
i think u are being real mean to bob[oompa loompa # 223]and all his lil buddies u talk about them with no respect!!
well ill see ya later
Name: judasfry
Subject: lol...crazy
-- Aug 13, 2001 at 1:42PM
amazing telling of the man, we never get from the original author. very entertaining.
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: bull shit lies
-- Jul 10, 2001 at 6:04AM
Tammy,
As you so eloquently put in your Yak, I suppose I do sound crazy.
Chris
Name: Tammmy
Subject: bull shit lies
-- Jul 9, 2001 at 9:24PM
What kida person are you talking such you sound crazy not Bill..hes kewl your a weirdo writeing that stuff.
Name: Jack
Subject: Foreign Language
-- May 26, 2001 at 6:41PM
Damen Und Herren,Der Inventing Room.
Name: dr. no
Subject: ahooga!
-- Apr 24, 2001 at 9:51PM
Ahooga! Me like Wonka
Name: The Editors Respond
Subject: Re: mullets
-- Apr 24, 2001 at 9:50PM
please send the photo to mlaw @about-inc.com
Name: laconia
Subject: mullets
-- Apr 24, 2001 at 9:35PM
my friend tom just got a mullet today, the bartender at the black cat cut it for him out side while we all cahnted mullet mullet mullet. it was quite exciting. the best part was when he took the hair that had been cut and put it down the front of his pants...pretty tasty...i took a picture. so anyway it reminded me of candy.
Name: lindsley
Subject: i want candy
-- Apr 24, 2001 at 9:27PM
frosted boobies,mmmm...i didn't have a very sich childhood either.
Name: josh
Subject: Mein Kandy: The Life and Atrocities of Willy Wonka
-- Apr 23, 2001 at 9:47PM
oompa loompas are the best things ever... my buddy icon is an oompa loompa rolling violet away when she eats the vlueberry pie gum...lol if u want to c it im me at vwdude2525! I love oompa loompas!!!!!!!
Name: Ashley
Subject: (none)
-- Apr 19, 2001 at 10:21PM
like omng oompa loompas rule there so kewl i always thought about having anal sex with one and i wondered if there u no what is orange lol ok well im outie
Name: Assley
Subject: Mein Kandy: The Life and Atrocities of Willy Wonka
-- Apr 19, 2001 at 10:19PM
dude this website is very gay no body cares what you think about anything or anyone so screw you all
p.s
oompa loompas are kewl as all hell
Name: Ratman
Subject: more pics
-- Apr 18, 2001 at 3:45PM
http://www.bobtheali en.com/oompaloompa/f rame.html
Name: Ratman
Subject: oompa loompa pics
-- Apr 18, 2001 at 3:42PM
here you go jennifer i found a pic for you.http://hometown. aol.com/cammioh/ioom pas.html
Name: Jennifer
Subject: pics
-- Apr 13, 2001 at 2:50PM
I need a pic of an oompa loompa for a project asap. thanks to anyone who cares.
Name: annomous
Subject: stupid people
-- Apr 9, 2001 at 12:46PM
You people who think that ompa lompas are sexy and stuff like that you are very gay!
Name: Poop
Subject: Oompas as prostitutes
-- Apr 6, 2001 at 4:43PM
If I had an Oompa Loompa, I'd make it my bitch and pimp the little bastard off...a lot. I'd charge at least 10 bucks or a candy cane for any kind of unspeakable act of sexual perversion, just as long as I don't have to see it or hear about it....
Name: oRlaX
Subject: Morris IS Candyman
-- Apr 4, 2001 at 1:32AM
hey pretty great writing...oooooh...c ouldnt sopt reading it...
Name: Deanna "UMPA" Mullins
Subject: I LOVE THE UMPA'S
-- Apr 1, 2001 at 7:43PM
MY NICKNAME IS UMPA OR OOMPA, EHTHER WAY, I WAS GIVING THE NICKNAME BY A FRIEND OF MY AND IT HAS SUCK WITH ME EVERY SINCE. I DRESSED UP AS A OOMPA F OR HALLOWEEN AND I LOOKED JUST LIKE A OOMPA AND I CAN GET THE PATTERN MY MOM MADE FOR THE COSTUME FOR SOMEONE WANTS IT. E-MAIL ME AT lemonchill2002@
yahoo.com
OOMPA'S RULE AND ARE THE BEST.
THE WILLY WONKA MOVIE ROCKS AND IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER.*@%&$!()&am p;+$%
IF ANYONE HAS PICS OF A OOMPA PLEASE E-MAIL A COPY.
Name: Deanna "UMPA" Mullins
Subject: I LOVE THE UMPA'S
-- Apr 1, 2001 at 7:37PM
MY NICKNAME IS UMPA OR OOMPA, EHTHER WAY, I WAS GIVING THE NICKNAME BY A FRIEND OF MY AND IT HAS SUCK WITH ME EVERY SINCE. I DRESSED UP AS A OOMPA F OR HALLOWEEN AND I LOOKED JUST LIKE A OOMPA AND I CAN GET THE PATTERN MY MOM MADE FOR THE COSTUME FOR SOMEONE WANTS IT. E-MAIL ME AT lemonchill2002@
yahoo.com
OOMPA'S RULE AND ARE THE BEST.
THE WILLY WONKA MOVIE ROCKS AND IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER.*@%&$!()&am p;+$%
IF ANYONE HAS PICS OF A OOMPA PLEASE E-MAIL A COPY.
Name: kelly
Subject: ????
-- Mar 31, 2001 at 8:15PM
u are wierd
Name: maynard
Subject: great
-- Mar 27, 2001 at 7:13AM
that's fucking brilliant
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: That was great
-- Mar 27, 2001 at 5:45AM
Thanks, Liam. You always were one of my favorite Gallaghers.
Name: Liam L
Subject: That was great
-- Mar 26, 2001 at 5:49PM
You know, i think that maybe i will follow in your footsteps and write such a great piece of art work. JK, anyway that was f'kin funny
Name: Liam L
Subject: That was great
-- Mar 26, 2001 at 5:48PM
You know, i think that maybe i will follow in your footsteps and write such a great piece of art work. JK, anyway that was f'kin funny
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: I love creativity
-- Mar 2, 2001 at 5:42AM
Wow, Jenn. That's very nice of you. I really appreciate your compliments.
Name: Jenn
Subject: I love creativity
-- Mar 1, 2001 at 10:58PM
Not too many people can be this creative, and for such a long period of time. I was reading that for quite a while, and not once was I bored. I really enjoy readong something funny and twisted. I love people that have creativity. Anything that isn't common is always funnier to hear or bring up because it's not something old and used up already. This is definitely a nice piece of artwork. =)
Name: oompa loompa
Subject: party
-- Feb 17, 2001 at 3:40PM
I want a willy wonka party!
Name: Pedro Vila
Subject: Off camera
-- Jan 22, 2001 at 5:45AM
If Wonka was that perverse, then I dread to
think of what might have happened to the kids after
they were taken away. You see, I never saw one femail Oompa Loompa and
and they were knida shoirt. Weren't they?
Name: Dave
Subject: and..
-- Jan 21, 2001 at 10:17PM
I also like to lick candy-filled rectums
Name: Dave
Subject: do be do
-- Jan 21, 2001 at 10:09PM
I like to stick candy up my ass.
Name: The Editors Respond
Subject: Re: bonjour
-- Jan 1, 2001 at 2:46AM
Eh? Quelle lettre?
Name: laeticia250@hotmail.com
Subject: bonjour
-- Dec 31, 2000 at 10:44PM
j'aimerais que vous m'envoyer de lettre
Name: Rupert McDada
Subject: Sweet! (pun intended)
-- Dec 8, 2000 at 8:18PM
Cracker jack in jackboots!
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: OMG!
-- Dec 7, 2000 at 5:55AM
Nico,
Great evil laugh you've got there.
Chris
Name: Nico Kitsune
Subject: OMG!
-- Dec 7, 2000 at 4:23AM
Thanks so much!! Now Im an even BIGGER Willy Wonka fan!!
Im gonna go show this to all my little henchmen now,.. we've got work to do.
MWAAAHAAAAHHAHAAA!!!
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: hmmmm
-- Dec 4, 2000 at 6:08AM
Joe,
I, sadly, went to public school (and film school for college), so I have no idea what a fear mullet is.
But I do know the Oompa Loompas were orange; like a basketball or an orange!
Name: joe
Subject: hmmmm
-- Dec 3, 2000 at 1:34PM
has anyone else noticed that oompa loompas posses the fear mullet?? think about.
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: tee hee
-- Nov 30, 2000 at 6:18AM
Annette,
I'm so glad you enjoyed the piece. I'm afraid, however, that I can't marry you, as my heart belongs to another. The mistress of comedy? Nay. My fiancee--the mistress of Madonna trivia.
Name: Annette
Subject: tee hee
-- Nov 26, 2000 at 8:54PM
You're beautiful. I have rarely had more fun here, on my ass in the computer chair, staring semi-alertly at pixelage like a comatose juggernaut. Marry me.
Name: Brendan
Subject: Mein Kandy
-- Nov 15, 2000 at 11:50AM
"Oompah Loompah dippity doo...I've got a hit of acid for you..."
Classic story, Mr. Tyrrell...one I'll be sure to pass on to my kids. And I'll make sure to include the part about Veruca Salt's post Wonka career as an anal porn slave.
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: 5
-- Nov 15, 2000 at 6:04AM
Ehrsukee,
Thank you very much. I appreciate that.
Chris
Name: ehrsukee
Subject: 5
-- Nov 15, 2000 at 1:48AM
this is fantastic
Name: An LS.n Reader
Subject: Mein Kandy: The Life and Atrocities of Willy Wonka
-- Nov 5, 2000 at 6:41PM
WELL FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WANT TO KNOW,I KNOW WHERE THAT LIL CHARLIE BUCKET KID LIVES NOW.
Name: Colin Roch
Subject: Scared
-- Nov 1, 2000 at 9:00PM
when i was little i was terrified of that movie, but i was afraid of everything, now i am only afraid of clowns and large mennacing guys who think anal rape is fun, it is a great movie and they should never try to do better, because they always screw it up and make both the new and the old look shitty
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: Sex and Candy and world domination.
-- Oct 28, 2000 at 10:23AM
Edward,
Wow. You're a weirdo. It's just an innocent kid's story.
Freakshow.
Chris
Name: Edward
Subject: Sex and Candy and world domination.
-- Oct 28, 2000 at 7:38AM
Their time will come and they will rise again! Be afraid, be very afraid.
Who else could be behind the ever growing hole in the ozone layer than an vast army of moralizing, green haired, super-melatoninized freaks? That's right, the Oompa-Loompas.
No worries about skin cancer for them, no. I'm still researching exactly how they're carrying out their fiendish plot to turn our world into a vast flowing brown "chocolate" wasteland. But with the eccentric and oh so evil Willy Wonka leading them, we are surely all doomed.
Or something.
Hmm, Oompa-loompa wrestling would be cool.
It's interesting, almost every person I bring it up with, was/is scared of Oompa-Loompas. What deep primal fear do they touch in us all?
Name: Jennifer
Subject: i want to have sex wif one!
-- Oct 16, 2000 at 12:42PM
OMpa LoOmpAS kICk ASs! tHEy ShoUld MakE onPA loOMpA poRn! ThIS acId TRiPpiNg MovIE KIcKEd ASS anD SOo did AliCe INNthE wONdER lAND i LOvE mIDGeTZ OnpA lOOmpA and TroLLz AND tHE lIttLE bLoo SOnY Guy!! lOVe YAllZ! -~*jENNIFEr*`
Name: Hash Cookie
Subject: Wonkas Drug Factory
-- Oct 15, 2000 at 7:43PM
to monica
i completely agree - lickable wallpaper is DEFINATLY no doubt LSD, and the oompa loompas came from an actual acid trip, anyhoo willy wonka is the best drug influenced movie to hit the screens ever
Name: nobody
Subject: pictures
-- Jun 22, 2000 at 8:05AM
I notices that some of ya'll wanted to find Oompa Loompa pictures.
Well, so was I, and I found the only spot that's worth going to.
http://www.bobthealien.com/oompaloompa
I happen to love oompa loompas by the way, but there's even a small part on that site for ya'll weirdos that don't like em.
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: Okey Dokey
-- Jun 22, 2000 at 6:37AM
Thank God for my demographic.
Name: Chuckly Cheeze
Subject: Okey Dokey
-- Jun 21, 2000 at 10:01PM
You know, I thought this story was a no shitter at first until about the time it started talking about pre WWII porn. Oompa Loompa's make me want to vomit. The idea that when I was a kid I actually bought packs of candy cigarettes also makes me want to vomit. Mothers against candy cigarettes aparantly hadn't been founded yet. I loved them though :)
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: assimilation
-- Jun 10, 2000 at 9:11AM
Alf,
Though I agree with you on your Oompa-extinction policies, I disagree with you on your cat-eating policies.
Name: alf
Subject: assimilation
-- Jun 10, 2000 at 2:42AM
I think that we should find the oompas and bang them silly til we have bread their evil little asses out of existence
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: Ompla Lompa doggystyle
-- Apr 10, 2000 at 8:35PM
J-squared,
Whoa, whoa, whoa! This is a family magazine!
You want to take it up the ass by a "vermicious knid"--not a "fiscious kanid"!
God. Some people.
Name: Justin Johnson
Subject: Ompla Lompa doggystyle
-- Apr 10, 2000 at 10:37AM
I fantisize about making love to ompa lompas doggystyle while taking it right up the ass by a ficisous kanid.
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: OOmpa Unions
-- Mar 27, 2000 at 6:26AM
Brach,
If you had any idea how high up the Oompa conspiracy goes, you wouldn't even think of mentioning an expose. While I'm all for giving a voice to any culture of neon-orange-faced people who are brainwashed and oppressed, I clearly do not want to spend the rest of my life being chopped into little pieces of fudge.
Name: Brach Johnson
Subject: OOmpa Unions
-- Mar 26, 2000 at 3:27PM
How about a little more about the right wing....conspiracy ...to overthrow oompa unions ....After all can we really ignore oompa ray.....(like Norma Ray).... Give a voice to the brainwashed and oppressed oompa minority...OOOMPA LOVE
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: I love wonka and the Oompa Loompa's..
-- Mar 15, 2000 at 11:56PM
Well, I love Wonka and the Oompa Loompas as well. Hell, who doesn't.
But...I'm afraid if you read the article you might have noticed that it was all lies, and violence, and in no way affiliated with the wonderful people who actually are responsible for the Wonka magic. I am just a cheap imitator.
Though I'd love to claim that Gobstoppers were originally my creation, I would again be filled with deceit.
Anyway, good luck in your quest for Loompa pics.
Name: Lois Farrar
Subject: I love wonka and the Oompa Loompa's..
-- Mar 15, 2000 at 8:25AM
Well I just I would write and tell you how much I love you
guys.. The candy the movie ....
Well I was wondering if I could get some pics of the Oompa Loompa's
becasue I bought I shirt with a Oompa on it and
someone rip it up... And that was hard to find
in st. Louis..
I love the movie so much I bought it on VCR and DVD..
well thanks..
Lois
St. Louis!!!!!
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: A river of ...
-- Mar 9, 2000 at 8:10PM
Yes, liquefied feces. Water-y doo doo. We're all grown ups. We can handle the concept of a flowing river of ca-ca, without breaking into a giggle, can we not?
Or perhaps I've misjudged my audience. Perhaps you are all still "tickled" by words like pee pee, boobies, and fart.
I thought you guys were a little more mature than that. For shame, Boris; and for shame, the rest of you!
OK, boobies is kind of funny.
Name: Boris Baddenov
Subject: A river of ...
-- Mar 9, 2000 at 12:23AM
LIQUEFIED FECES? NO SHIT???
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: oomp-loompa pics
-- Mar 9, 2000 at 12:08AM
Oh, if only I had some for you. Do you have any idea the black market value of Oompa Loompa pics? Phenomenal.
I do have fakes of Christina Applegate, though. If you color her face orange--it might work.
Name: jeffabernathy@hotmail.com
Subject: oomp-loompa pics
-- Mar 8, 2000 at 11:09PM
can i get a pic of the oompa loompas please i need it for a shirt im making
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: Willy Wonka - Drug Lord
-- Mar 5, 2000 at 2:13PM
Willy Wonka as a drug lord? That's sick. Please don't corrupt a beloved childhood icon.
Chris
Name: Monica
Subject: Willy Wonka - Drug Lord
-- Mar 4, 2000 at 6:05AM
Willy Wonka is a drug lord
He makes Acid!!! (Licking the
wall paper, and the little
squres of edible pictures
in the candy shop!!!
Email me if you are interested
in my ideas about wukky's little scheme!
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: Re:Re:Re:Re Wonka
-- Sep 15, 1999 at 10:26PM
Kat,
It sounds like you've got yourself an idea for the sequel there.
I thank you for all your responses to this piece. I think you may have even answered your own questions about me, in your succession of Yaks. See, I am a nice guy--and I think the violence in my writing, though always used for comic effect, is probably very cathartic for me.
Can you tell my girlfriend's a shrink?
Speaking of which--and I have to somewhat agree with the Editors' previous comment on this --it seems that the parts that most appealed to you in the story (and those parts that you would have liked to have seen) all revolve around sex. I don't think that makes you dirty-minded; it's perfectly natural.
It looks like our time is up. That'll be $75.
Anyway, I hope you continue to enjoy this web site, and respond with your reactions. From the writer's point-of-view, the compliments and the criticisms mean so very much.
Chris
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: WONKA
-- Sep 15, 1999 at 10:11PM
Henry,
Damn. That's awfully nice of you. You must be a relative. If so, I'm sorry I missed the "Tyrrell Family Adventure" this year, but I've just never been much of a Monster Truck Rally kind of guy, so I thought I'd just stay away.
I am a fan of The Onion, as well, so your compliment means that much more. Did you see the Mama's Family e-bay piece they did last week? That was brilliant.
Also, I've never heard anyone single out the Barrymore list--I thought it was just a (probably Simpsons-influenced) joke that only I found funny. Clearly, you're a witty, clever, attractive man yourself.
Thanks,
Chris
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: The wonka Bio
-- Sep 15, 1999 at 10:03PM
Cindy,
Thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece. But I'm deeply disturbed that you only found it a LITTLE sick and twisted. It was supposed to be deeply disturbing. It's supposed to show the utopian society in shambles, mirroring our very own social ills today. It's supposed to be a vomit-inducing sharp-as-nails political essay!
Nah, just kidding. It is just a little sick and twisted comedy.
Chris
Name: Kat
Subject: Re:Re:Re:Re Wonka
-- Sep 15, 1999 at 9:42PM
C.Tyrell,
You are one nice dude!! You sure took my criticism well. I'm not sure I can handle criticism that well myself. Actually, after I raged my war against your story, I began to have second thoughts about my interpretations of it. Now I think I quite like the cake-dancer thing, and the whole sex story. However, I personally feel that there should have been more sex and less violence. I wonder, what would happen if Mrs. Bucket(of the movie) and Wonka got together? Mind you, I'm thinking of the Gene Wilder Wonka here.
Kat
Name: Henry L.
Subject: WONKA
-- Sep 15, 1999 at 5:26PM
This shit is funnier than The Onion. I love the list of Barrymore's films
Name: Cindy
Subject: The wonka Bio
-- Sep 15, 1999 at 4:51PM
I loved your bio on Willy Wonka, a little twisted and sick, but it was great, and you made a utopian society look like a total disaster
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: Re:Re Wonka
-- Sep 15, 1999 at 1:09AM
Tyrrell says it's just a piece of silly fiction.
I love Wonka--the movie, the books, the candy.
My childhood was virtually trauma-free. Except that kid on the bus that used to spit wax at me, but rumor has it he goes to a gay hockey school now (though I didn't even know there was such a thing). But nobody wants to read about him being a tyrant, because he was one.
Wonka, on the other hand is ripe for the picking, simply because he is so beloved. If Spielberg can make a nice Nazi, I can make an evil Wonka. So there!
I don't think I'm a violent person mentally, although I do find a great deal of humor in bizarre fictional violence that has some purpose in a story.
I don't take offense to your comments at all. I'm extremely interested in any reactions to my stories--good or bad. I'm particularly proud of this one, so the ego has an extra layer of skin in this area.
But put simply, pretending that someone as benevolent as the Wonka character could be an evil dictator is just a simple gimmick I've used to make people want to read a specific piece. I personally think I invested the character with a great deal of humanity (perhaps that's why I like it). The Wonka in this story, wholly different than Roald Dahl's, actually evolves as a character--though it's a transformation into a maniacal murderer.
It's just good time sillies, and it might not be your cup of tea. Or maybe lampooning Wonka hits a little too close to home. Honestly, though, with a few changes it could have been a biographical sketch of Captain Kangaroo, and the humor--I think--would still be there.
Thank you for your comments. I do appreciate them.
And the editors sure are gallant, stickin' up for little old me!
Name: Katie Okey
Subject: Re:Re Wonka
-- Sep 14, 1999 at 4:55PM
Yea, I'd like to hear what Tyrell has to say too. I still think that Tyrell had a bad experience with the movie, or else he's just a violent person mentally. I don't know. Don't let him take it personally. By the way, that feels soooooo weird to think that you think that I have a dirty mind. Sorry, but it isn't dirty, just creative.
Kat
Name: The Editors Respond
Subject: Re: Wonka
-- Sep 14, 1999 at 12:19PM
Wait, let us get this straight: you're criticizing this piece for lacking in "clean charm" but saying that what it really could have used was a sex scene taking place in a river of chocolate? And then we're admonished not to take that "sickly"?
We're sorry, lady, but you've got a dirty mind. We're not saying that's a bad thing . . . in fact, you've come to just the right place!
We'd like to hear from Tyrrell on this.
Name: Kat
Subject: Wonka
-- Sep 14, 1999 at 5:06AM
Where the hell did you come(cum, possibly) up with this crazy story? Roald Dhal certainly never illuded to Wonka being such a sicko, and even Wolper didn't portray Wonka as a twisted perv. I can imagine Wonka having a slightly weird sex life, or more probably a normal one, but I am not sure I can picture him as the type of sicko you portray him as. How could you launch such an attack on Gene Wilder?? Sure, we all have bizarre sex fantasies, but this one tops all in sickness. Either the movie traumetized you a whole lot or you just have a weird mind. Although your story is kind of funny and amusing in spots, it's lacking in clean charm. A melted chocolate river Wonka sex scene would have gone down better with me(Don't take that sickly, cause I'm nothing like Monica Lewinski. I'm not that kind of woman).
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: oompa loompas
-- Sep 9, 1999 at 9:49PM
Mandi,
I don't happen to have any Oompa Loompa pictures lying around the house (damn my spring cleaning!), but may I suggest you check out: www.FBIwantedlist.com, under the WAR CRIMINALS heading. There should be pics & bios of the Oompa Loompas, as well as Wonka himself.
Name: Mandi
Subject: oompa loompas
-- Sep 9, 1999 at 8:50PM
Hey! I really really LOVE oompa loompas, is there anyway you can put some pictures of them on here???
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: Advice
-- Aug 6, 1999 at 9:30AM
I always welcome responses that are over my head. I have no idea what you're talking about, Antoine, because I am an undereducated product of my own society.
Thanks for the comments!
Name: Antoine
Subject: Advice
-- Aug 5, 1999 at 10:00AM
Is this the Kasparov site? Hello? Move the horsie! Got that? Move the horsie!!
Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: shocktarts
-- Jul 16, 1999 at 12:46AM
My anonymous contact for the Wonka story says the candy maniac is on sabbatical right now, and could not be reached for comment. But he was able to shed some light on why Mr. Wonka never made green shocktarts. Wonka felt they would somehow honor the Irish as a people, and he "despises the whole lot of drunken mics."
Thanks for your comments!
Name: Bryan dahl
Subject: shocktarts
-- Jul 13, 1999 at 8:08PM
I really think that you should make a green shocktart . I have been a fan of shocktars for 5 years and really think that you should make a green shocktart, it would be awsome
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