Phone: [ring, ring]
Dye: Hello?
Hoffman: Hey man, sorry to wake you up, but I just realized something that was missing from the footage we locked down last month. What happened to the Thundercats line?
Dye: The Thundercats line? Oh, yeah, I haven't heard that in a while. I guess we cut it.
Hoffman: We cut it? How come?
Dye: I dunno ... I must have had a reason ... That was 6 weeks ago. Why didn't you mention this when we first reviewed the cut?
Hoffman: I didn't notice it then ... Can we put it back in?
Dye: Um, well, maybe ... I mean, I was never crazy about that line anyway, and I'm sure I had some reason for cutting it. But I guess if it's that important to you, I could spend my entire freaking day poring through the hour of footage and trying to recut that scene that I already cut and locked just to remind myself why we had no choice but to cut that line in the first place ...
Hoffman: [pause] ... Okay, why don't you do that.

As we starting wrapping up the editing process, we realized we needed a theme song. Hoffman managed to hook us up with the cats in a band called Beat Radio, who already had some studio time reserved and were into the project enough to record a song for us on the cheap.

Which meant on top of everything else, I had to come up with lyrics. Not yet having any music to go by, I cobbled together meter from other songs. The verses were ripped from "My Heart Will Go On" from Titanic and the chorus came from, kinda, "What Can You Do With a Drunken Sailor?"

Of course, as I was doing this I knew damn well no one would be able to write a song around those lyrics. Still, we shipped them off to Bryan of Beat Radio and crossed our fingers. Within 24 hours he e-mailed us back: "Wow, these lyrics fit perfect into this song I've been working on!"

Go figure. You can hear the song here and confirm that the lyrics can be sung to "My Heart Will Go On" a la Celine Dion.

Getting the poster designed was a little tougher. This was one thing we were determined to delegate entirely to a professional. The first professional we contracted repeatedly stood us up for meetings, including one that involved me schlepping out to Astoria at 9:30pm on a school night, and the second "professional" jerked us around for 2 weeks then bailed. So I ended up having to design the poster too.

Professionals bite. Thank God I'll never be one.

We had our cast and crew screening in mid-October, and it played damn well, I think. Of course, I fucked up and forgot a piece of equipment we needed to screen, which meant the show got delayed for 30 minutes while I took a white-knuckle round-trip cab ride from 4th Street East to 100th Street West. In the hour that took, Hoffman kept our 100 screening guests placated by getting them drunker and drunker on cheap wine. No wonder they loved the picture.

So here we are, the movie's done, we're just finishing up the promotional materials, poster, Web site, etc. And we're waiting to hear from film festivals we've submitted to. Where will we premiere? California? Texas? Utah? Who the hell will want us?

By the time you read this, that question might be answered. But as I write, I still don't know. But wherever it is, I'll be sure to report back on the boos, the walk-outs, and all the other fun things that I'm sure film festivals will bring.

Keep an eye on this Web site for all such goodies.

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